Things I should’ve done by now

As you can tell if you check on this blog periodically or subscribe to my YouTube channel, it’s been awhile since I’ve made a video. Because you were good enough to read this blog entry, I’m going to share with you some videos that I was really hoping to have recorded by now.

Unfortunately, I haven’t even written them yet. Even though I’ve been telling myself I’m going to at least write them for at least three weeks now.

So here’s some videos you should be seeing in the “near future,” a term I believe is ambiguous enough to cover my ass in case these videos aren’t made by the end of this month.

1. Zombie vlog: OK I bought a bunch of shit — a zombie makeup kit, fake blood, severed body parts — for this, and was hoping to get some mileage out of all the stuff I bought. I envisioned all sorts of antics with the zombie stuff. But here I am, telling you I haven’t even written the first script for the first video. By the way, a vlog is a video blog. Just imagine all the hilarity that could ensue from me dressed as a zombie sharing random details of my day with you. You’re laughing to yourself, aren’t you?

2. Words With Friends Game Show: I’ve had this one in the brain chamber for almost three months now. I would host “The only game show based on your favorite smart phone app.” This is sure to be an Internet classic. It will happen.

3. Hanging Out With An A-Hole: This one was really excited to me. Have you noticed today that there’s some weird trend where the more of a negative douchey hater they a person is, the cooler they are perceived to be? In this video, I would play a person who is stubborn, impossible to please, and, worst of all, not shy about voicing his displeasure about everything. Of course the character would be over the top, but you’ve met these people. They’re easy to identify. If they’re uneducated, they think everything is “gay.” If they’re educated, they put everything down while exhausting their vocabulary at the same time. Either way, these people are viruses. Avoid them if at all possible. If you must be in their company, wear one of those Chinese SARS masks.

By the way, whatever happened to SARS? I can’t even remember what the hell it was. Now I’m going to stop writing to go look up what it was and why we never hear about it anymore. Speaking of SARS, remember swine flu? That was a fun epidemic…